

The key being that you’re just buying time, hoping they’ll forget or find another source. When someone asks you if they can borrow some money, you may tell them something like, “I need to check my finances,” or maybe “Yeah, give me a couple days and let me see what I can do.” This is known as The Time Tactic. I have no problem doling out spare change for that.

Now, I’m a little more lenient if one of them has a pet that does tricks, like a guy in New York who has Guinea pigs that can sit so still you believe they’re dolls, until they blink (incidentally, that guy makes $40-$50 an hour. I’ve disarmed them, and they’ve got nothing to come back with. I can usually catch these sidewalk beggars out of the corner of my eye approaching me for some coinage, so I quickly move towards them and, before they open their mouth, I hold out my hand and say, “Hey bro, you wouldn’t happen to have any spare change like a quarter, a nickel, anything?” Boom. I began to develop the method with precision on the Baltimore streets when I encountered panhandlers. Now I’m on offense and they’re back on defense. I just turned the tables in the blink of an eye. I was just about to ask you if I could borrow a few bucks.”īoom. Right after someone has spilled their hardluck circumstances, before they have a chance to ask me for anything, I say something like, “You too? I’ve had some bad luck lately myself. One of my favorite maneuvers - The Slick Cut Off - is one I learned from Muddy Banks in Tupelo, Mississippi in the early seventies. After all, you offered.Īs a mark, I try and always be in on my toes when I sense The Request coming my way. This has just saved them the groveling they were prepared to do and, on top of that, they feel like they didn’t ask you for anything. You’ve just now opened the door to what is known as The Money Beatdown. They usually start with a sob story hoping to provoke a response from you like, “Hey, if you need to borrow some money, let me know if I can help you out.” Or they have a chance of getting in on the ground floor of the greatest business deal ever, like edible kittens. They’re waiting for a check that should be in the mail. This begins with the person expressing some sort of predicament they’re in. The art of borrowing money has many stages to it. Now you’re left wondering if they really need that car repaired, or if they’re hoping to score a bag of heroin, or if they’re looking to take Hopalong in the sixth to win. And guess who they’re looking at to be their umbrella? Most of the time they’re coming to you because they know that you have been responsible with your funds, saving them for a rainy day, while they have not been responsible with their own funds. It’s usually a relative or some close friend. We’re at the point where it’s every man (or gal) for themselves.Īt some point in our lives, someone has approached us to borrow money. Most of us work hard for our money, so to let it go toward something that’s not for us or our family is hard, especially when the average American has less than four hundred dollars in their savings account. I don’t trust people with my money, especially when they think it’s theirs. Instead of digging a water well in Tibet, some shyster is sitting in first class on his way to Greece on my dime. I wonder if my money is really going to what it is purported to. Yes, I know I’m called on to be a cheerful giver, but I just haven’t gotten there yet. I encounter this resistance when I donate to a charitable organization. So, to part with it for any other purpose than for our own needs is very difficult. We need it to buy necessities in life like a place to live, food, transportation, shoes, cell phones, Netflix and lattes. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “To receive with the implied or expressed intention of returning the same or an equivalent.” I, on the other hand, define it as getting something you need from some sucker with the intention of returning it if you were to somehow win the lottery. “Borrow” is a sneaky word with several meanings. There are generally two types of people: those who lend money, and those who borrow money.
